The Waring's Journey: The Lord Builds Our Family

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Lord Builds Our Family

When Richard and I married 22 years ago, we dreamed of having a large family. We thought that family would be children from our genetics but the Lord had other plans. For employment, we worked at a temporary shelter that housed teenagers in need of state care. It was in this line of work that I first met our daughter Addison's birthmother (Julie). It was also at this shelter that I miscarried and lost our only pregnancy through donor insemination. My heart was broken, my life seemed doomed to be childless and I had lost all hope of ever being a mother. I remember praying for the Lord to hear my cries and answer my need to be a mother. I desired it so deeply. Shortly after losing our pregnancy, we changed jobs and became primary house parents for a group home of state kids. This home was currently empty and we were able to sort through different files of children needing placement and pick our kids to live and work with. Peggy was one of these kids. She was nine years old, called me mom, spunky as all get out, and turned out to be one of my most challenging; yet bonding experiences of my life.

This kid simply grabbed my heart.

So who is she today?

Today, she still calls me mom, still has my heart as a daughter, is the biological aunt to our daughter Addison..although she will say "No, I rather prefer to think of myself as Addi's older sister.", has three beautiful children who call me Grandma, and is married to a wonderful young man named Richard.

Yes, we still get a kick out of his name being the same as my husband's. We tease her that when we told her to find a man to marry like Dad, we didn't exactly mean he had to be named Richard. LOL

(just a side note... it doesn't help that I call my husband "hun...or honey" because, they both still look up at me and answer! LOL Too funny!)

The Lord has been building my family from the moment I said "I do" to my husband and He's been doing it in ways I couldn't see or understand at the time.

I'm so thankful that His hand has been upon us and He's placed such beautiful people within my life. I never thought I would be so blessed to have adopted three such wonderful children (Bailey, Addison and Levi) but what I really didn't see coming was the unique way He would fill my heart and complete my desire for family by also adding to my life the bonds of love I have with their birthparents, birthparents-spouses, birthsiblings, birthaunts, cousins, birthgrandparents, and so much more.

Here are some photos my sister Janene took of their family.
(Thanks Janene...You are very talented!)

My Beloved Darr Family

Richard and Peggy

My of the heart Son-In-Law, Richard, and Daughter, Peg

Peggy with their girls (Brandi & Tiffany)

Richard with their son (Austin)

Austin

Brandi

And spunky like her Mom, Tiffany

My of the heart, precious three grandchildren

God is so GOOD and His love for me is far beyond what I can see or understand.

Lord Jesus, soften my heart and continue to open my life to the family You've chosen for me. Fulfill my desires and complete me as You see best. Take me past myself and mold me to be not only, the perfect match for my husband but the open hearted mother my children need.

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Our Hope To Adopt Embryos

Hi, my name is Tracy and here is our story,

My husband, Richard, and I have been happily married for 21 years. Early on in our marriage, we were diagnosed with complete male factor infertility. We have been blessed with three beautiful children through separate open adoptions. Bailey, now 17, was born during the time of our lives when my husband and I were grieving the loss of our only pregnancy from donor insemination. She was born when our baby would have been. Her birth was like a healing salve to our hurting hearts. Once we discovered that the Lord could fill our aching arms with such delight through adoption, we began to pray for the Lord to bring us another child.

We hoped and prayed for 6 years when Addison was born. She is now 11. In the time of waiting until the Lord brought our second child into our lives, He did an amazing work upon our heart towards opening our relationship up with Bailey's birthmother. We started out slow and before we knew it, she was a full active part of our family. Today, she is my best friend and we share many of our life experiences together. When Addison came into our lives, her birthparents were already friends that we had known for some time and loved dearly. Keeping the doors of our relationship open throughout her adoption was easy and our hearts today love them with even a greater love than ever before.

Levi is 3 and we just had his birthday party with many friends, our family and his birthmother and her family also. Reiko, his birthmother feels like a daughter to us and her presence in our family is wonderful. She has recently birthed another son named Heidern (pronounced Heiden), that we consider our grandson even though he is Levi's 1/2 brother.

We love all of our birth families very much and have contact with them on a regular basis. We have five birth families for our three children. Keeping everyone up to date with all that goes on in our family is much easier done with updates on our family blog.

For me, the road to motherhood for the past 21 years seemed only possible through domestic adoption. Now that the Lord has opened my eyes to embryo adoption, the longing to birth is again revived and stirred within me. The thought that there might be a way to hold a child of mine without traveling through the pain of another person, is something I look forward to. I love my children so dearly but I also know that their birth parents felt deep sorrow during my greatest time of joy (their birth). That realization is so hard on my heart because of the love I hold for them.

As a profession, I am a labor doula. I watch families birth without sorrow and it is so different than what I've witnessed with the births of my children. I pray that the Lord will allow me to experience this side of motherhood and to have joy without sorrow as our sweet new baby/babies come into our lives. We are praying that the gift of someone's embryos would be this for us.

We are so excited to meet and get to know the family of the embryos and make them a part of our family. We promise to love and cherish the children that come from them and the door to our hearts and home will always be open for you to get to know the children born. Honestly, there is nothing more precious to us than the lives of our children and the hope of the children to come.

We will continue to pray for this dream to come true and place our hope and trust upon the Lord to continue to build our family. We know that in His perfect timing He will bring us our precious little embryos, and bond us to (hopefully) you , a beautiful genetic family.

I have a life verse that has encouraged me throughout our journey.

1 Peter 5:10

But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

Waiting for the joy set before us,

Richard and Tracy Waring.