With each of our adoptions our family has become more and more open with our birthfamilies. This is a path that we strongly feel has been God led. With each child, I've sensed the Lord calling us to move past our fears and draw our children's birthparents closer and closer to the core of our family. Each time we've obeyed, we've been blessed beyond anything we could have imagined. Our children have responded to this openness with complete excitement and joy. Never once have I felt a tug a war or threatened over my place as my children's mom. With each relationship the Lord has shown us what it truly means to have a completely OPEN adoption.
With that said, now let me share what's new with our family.
Reiko is Levi’s birth mother and she’s come back into our lives. We couldn’t be more thrilled. Our relationship with her is right back where we left off and it is like she was never gone. She still calls us mom and dad and it touches our hearts for her to do so. We do feel like parents to her and love that she’s not afraid to show her need for family and love for us. Here’s more exciting news… She’s newly married and now the mommy to our first ever adopted by heart, grandson. We love this new role and are amazed at all the Lord is walking us through.
After Heidern (spelled correctly but pronounced Heiden with a silent “R”) was born Reiko handed him to me and said something to the reference of me being grandma. When she said it... It felt so right. Just looking at him melted my heart and I knew this little boy was going to be very special.
Richard and I talked and really hashed out ...What are we doing?! Is this right for our family and are we going to cause confusion with Levi? We don't just play family ...we are a family. Both of us prayed about it and we really came to the same conclusion. For our family, this was the Lord. God was showing us something quite different than we'd ever experienced before. That is, the concept of adopting not the baby, but the mom and her baby both.
Our children are responding well to Reiko and her new little family being so close to us. They love that Reiko calls me mom and love the idea that Heidern is our new grandbaby. Levi just enjoys her being around as much as the other kids do their birthparents. We’ve always said it was very important that our children were raised in truth and so we will continue to raise Levi to know that Reiko is his birthmother but that we also have accepted the roll as grandparents to Heidern who is his biological half brother. It truly is a blessing that Levi will have such a relationship with both his birth mother and half brother as he grows. This is the first time Levi got to hold Heidern
Levi kissing him to show him how much he loves him
We’ve come to the understanding that our family will always be different and will grow differently than most people will understand or relate to. We build and hold our family with completely different dynamics than anything most people will probably ever know. We have different boundaries and a completely different path that the Lord has called us to and working out in our lives.
In one conversation with my sister I said... When your daughter gets married and you, as the mother, walk down the aisle to light the candles with the groom’s mother. You will not share that place with anyone. But that is not true with our family... we are different. When I walk down the aisle at my daughter’s weddings I will walk, hand in hand, with her birthmother and we will share that place together. This is what is right for us and this is what is right for our children. We are bound together through love and through the child that they placed within my arms. And...as much as I love my children ...I love their birthparents. That will never change and the longer I know them... the more I will love them.
This truly is my heart and roll the Lord has established within me. Here are some pictures from our visit with Reiko and Heidern the other day. Three very special men in my life..Levi, Hidern and Richard (Daddy to Levi and Grandpa to Heidern)
Levi snagging a bite from her plate. LOLI had just gotten out of the shower and couldn't wait to get my snuggle bug into my arms. Oh..He just feels so good!
Me holding both my son and grandson...Levi was giving daddy a funny face. LOLThank you Jesus for the path that You have chosen for me. It is far better than anything I could have dreamed for myself. You are an amazing God !